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About Me Member Lurker Aly0620/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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Gotta take time and relax, that's the meaning of life.

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It's like the whole world stops to listen...

Wed Jul 1, 2009, 1:54 AM
I think I've gained another unhealthy obsession...

I've been google-ing, wikipedia-ing, youtube-ing, everything that ends with -ing...
SS501 (Double S 501).
I don't think I've felt this much overwhelmed of I-must-know-EVERYTHING-about-them-obsession.
Maybe it only happens in the Summer...god help me. Who remembers my past obsessions...

*remembers*

*last summer 08*
OMGODAVATAR!!!&&JONAS BROTHERS!!!!
*end of flashback 08*

*summer 07*
OMGODDDDSASUKE&&&NARUTOCHAPTERS!!!
*end of flashback 07*

*summer 06*
OMGCOLLEGE!!!&&HARRYPOTTER!!!!
*end of 06*

Oh god, why don't I ever change! I'm like a fangirl that doesn't shut up! I hate my obsessions, I learn everything about them and move on to the next thing. But on the bright side I gain useless information and secretly every obsession has a back story to it.

Wait no- I love this "current" obsession and SS501. If they come to the U.S. for sure I'll get tickets to see their concert. And scream my head off for Kim Hyung Joon and Kim Hyun Joong...mostly Kim Hyung Joon...and a little more for- well okay you get it. I'm hooked. I blame my vacation on this. It happens every year, it's like a tradition. Who else goes through this besides me? Any stories people would like to share?

Now for serious

BUT on the side note, I have finally obtained a job. I-Hop and serving my customers. I've been called the cheerful and cute server. Pshhhh I think I smile way to much when I pour people coffee, I'd be freaked if I served myself with this smile that says, '*Please give me an awesome tip' all over my face. No, but I do enjoy my job (surprisingly). The people I work with are nice and entertaining, I have gradually learned to talk crap to the cooks, it's fun. I have fun? Wow, seriously I've never felt happy at a part-time job before, well besides from the library, I-Hop is fun.

Summer is almost gone and I've made many memories. I've taken time away from my blog to work and I still need to update on my JB concert experience. Which was unforgettable. That whole day was glorious. (More on here ---> [link])

I've also worked on a few songs, I want a Gibson bad. My goal is to be known in a year, have my name out there somewhere. I'm gonna be 21 and I need a goal and I'm determined to set this.

Side note: I want to play onstage and such but I'm not ready. I feel my lyrics are missing something though, as if a piece of me isn't present. I have the emotions in my heart and mind but writing them are different. For some reason I grow afraid to write them. Weird. That's what I would like to call, denial with a bad case of writer's block.

Tomorrow since I have an off day I'll be updating my blogger with pictures of stuff.

Speaking of pictures, my photo shoots are total busts since everything didn't go according to plan. Kris, Sarah and I have been busy doing our own thing lately we haven't had time to breath, plus graduation is around the corner for all of us. That is what scares me, the future. All three of us have talked about the future constantly but knowing we will be walking yet "another" stage, is frightful.

It's so unknown, recently I was told, "What do I have in mind for the future?"

I reply with, "In all honesty, I don't know. The future is always changing in my mind, one day I'm at this point, the next I'm at another. For everyone I believe it's like that. The typical college student never knows what they want, and when they do it's questioned. So I do not know about my future, all I know is I will follow where ever I go. If the road leads this way I will follow, if it doesn't, it doesn't. Right now, I want to enjoy life and set all my talents on a platter for people to see. I want to be known and be happy. That's my future. Life is too short to think of the future anyways, so I like to think about the present also."

And I get a weird look after my monologue.

Because my friends, readers, DA'ers, etc (who ever has known me and read my blogs) how many times has my future changed in these blogs. If you count or remember, how many?? I get inspired instantly, I'm like a chameleon changing it's colors because of it's surroundings.

When I read past blogs I was totally lost in life and didn't even want a life. I met a wonderful person (by chance and odd fate) who changed my life and I love her very much. Even though we hardly have late-night till mid-morning chats, friendship like ours doesn't need a lot of words. She knows I'm shipping her Strawberry Hi-C like I promised, plus that Big Red she's been wanting to try. (Plus my comp and her comp suck as of late so e-mails are all we have).

When I met her I met another amazing person (whose writing was hilariously amazing) and it grew from there, needless to say I do love them. They know it, I constantly remind them how much they mean to me as friends and supporters. From ceramic cows, sasusaku moments, jenn and her awesomeness, to all those memories. <3

*end of moment* I hate being sentimental it's annoying 'cause I try and act brave. It's really a laugh at myself.

I went from wanting to get out of life to wanting to pursue vet-med (again), med, creative writing, English, teaching, kinder teacher, High school teacher, photography, fashion, photography, creative writing, vet-med, fashion photography, med, and back to creative writing and photography.

My life is always dramatic and ever-changing. I feel I'm still young and there is a lot of life to live. Like I said in a past journal if I become whomever *insert here* I'll be happy. I want to be happy, someday I hope to actually travel to Japan, drive to Boston, visit Preeti in New York, go to the Philippines to see Anj (and Jin), all those dreams I want.

Past Journal
"I'm already going to be 21, that number is a big deal so before I'm 22 I must have my name out there, anywhere. It's already too late but the public will know who Alicia Espinoza is. Whether it's the novelist, guitarist, photographer, magazine editor, parent of so-and-so's child because he/she is causing trouble, wife of whomever I marry, or student. I'll become someone, I know I can do it, I feel it."

Back in the day I never thought I would stay up in the middle on the night watching Korean dramas with my mom. Never in my life did I believe we would bond, but we are. It's great. We laugh and she is now addicted to Korean dramas like me, Gossip Girl, and just having fun. Although, my father and I still have differences (we're too much alike) he still provides when I don't want him to. My pride gets in the way of being thankful for him sometimes.

My writing and poetry was so depressing and sad I can't believe it. I fell so bad from reality because of situations I am blessed to be back on top. But I believe it's thanks to advice from others that got through my head. The countless supporters and such. It's thanks to them I'm writing a blog. Even if it is insignificant I think everyone has fallen down once or twice. It's when you get back up and think about it a year or two, you realize how foolish you were.

Still I go to school in Iowa, never dreamt of that, becoming an R.A. and changing my residents lives. Just as my R.A. and friends have, I want to change some one's life also. If I can do that, I'll be satisfied. I've learned that the little things are the best. That even when you feel that you've hit your lowest, it passes. Things happen for a reason and everything has a way of working itself out.

It's amazing how much I've grown, I'd like to believe I have. Even if it is a little bit, I want to grow. Be mature when times are drastic but also immature when I want to be. Laugh a lot and cry very little. I'm happy, really and truly am.

Many people have changed me and given me advice. Some walked out of my life without even a warning. I thought I was in love once, twice, a few times...but I'm over it. I'll find a guy who loves me for me. It's so weird, like a weight has lifted off of me or I've just had an epiphany.

Going through old letters and diaries really help. Tearing rejection letters and using them as material, priceless. Thanks boys for those, you changed me a little bit too. I might not be a sexy-knock out like I or you want me to be, but I'm still pretty awesome. Inside I feel different, I think I have to hand it to the rejections and failed "dates" it had me realize something, I love being single. Ha. For now, at least.

Some days I feel as if I'm an insignificant person who doesn't know what she thinks or knows. But on nights like these when I tell myself to shut up and be grateful I realize how petty I am.

So I guess I leave with this, life is grand until is sucks again. Joking.

I'm pretty comfortable. This Summer I am changing into a better person. Sometimes I feel like something great is going to happen. But like the future that is unknown. It makes me smile though.

And like SS501 I got to keep fighting! :)
Gotta hand it to them, they are HOTHOTHOTHOT talented.

P.S. Excuse the erros, not gonna fix them tonight.

  • Mood: Delighted
  • Listening to: SS501 (Double S 501)
  • Reading: Youtube!
  • Drinking: ...water?

deviantID

Alicia Espinoza wants: to make her summer memorable, remember every detail that happens in life, change someone's life, go to many concerts, go on her first date, laugh with her two sisters from another mister, eat panda express with mari, shop at forever 21 with connie, relax once in a while, fall in love, have parent's acceptance, dance like there's no tomorrow, become involved with the church, donate time with the homeless, do photoshoots, miss iowa, write&write&write, cherish bonds, wear summer dresses, drink sweet tea, watch harry potter and the half blood prince, visit the guerra library often, and just live.

Devious Info

  • Interests: Photography. Writing. Sleeping. Eating.
  • Favourite band or musician: Jonas Brothers &Taylor Swift
  • Personal Quote: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."
  • Tools of the Trade: Photoshop CS3, Canon, Wacom

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Comments


:iconsurrealiseme:
hey aly, thxx u muhly for watching :heart: love you. (:

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:iconthesoccerfreak:
You got a great gallery ! Its really good xD
:iconsurrealiseme:
heya its ai.. new account, haha add me ^^ :hug:

happy belated birthday too! but i already fb-ed you.. :heart:
:iconpropertyoftheuchiha:
:cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALY!!!! ^o^
ILU ALWAYS, T00CHI! ^_^

:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake:

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Full-blooming Narutard. Available for picking at all seasons!
Stripateer numba' 3 :strip:
:iconaly06:
BTW THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

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:iconaly06:
READ YOUR EMAIL! and I was just thinking about you today! and it's about a boyyyy I love you loads!!!

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That's because when you're high up, all the stuff that looks confusing and messed up suddenly becomes crystal clear
:iconohxxemetophobia:
Thanks for the fave. =]
:iconpenned-paper:
thanks for the fav :)

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:iconkurariisu:
thanks for the fave :)

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s w e e t l o v e
:iconaly06:
no problem :heart:

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That's because when you're high up, all the stuff that looks confusing and messed up suddenly becomes crystal clear

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